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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

What's Gotten in to Kyle Farnsworth?

Who is this man...

...And what happened to the Kyle Farnsworth we all know and loathe?



Something is amiss here.


This cannot possibly be the same man who took it upon himself to introduce Paul Wilson to a face-full of Wrigley dirt.


...And it certainly isn't Jeremy Affeldt's worst nightmare, reincarnated.


This isn't even the Yankees' much maligned mop-up man incapable of pitching more than an inning a night, whose balky back would act up without notice. (Because look at how fragile that Farnsworth was!)




There must be some kind of mistake. Because the current Kyle Farnsworth has been...dare I say it?... reliable.


I'm not sure we Yankee fans are ready for a world in which Kyle Farnsworth pitches on back-to-back nights, no longer walks the ballpark, and posts a respectable 2.84 ERA.





What?!



I am seriously alarmed now.


If only there were some kind of reasonable explanation for that smile, the hair, the glasses, and this new softer side of Kyle Farnsworth.


Wait, wait. What do we have here?



"Farnsworth is taking PR steps to improve it (his
public reputation). He recently hired Steve
Fortunato
, a marketing consultant who
has worked with Damon, Alex Rodriguez and
Bernie
Williams among others" (Feinsand, 2008)



Ah, that is enlightening. I was worried that someone mistakenly subjected him to a brain transplant when he spent the offseason in the hospital with a staph infection that almost cost him a leg.


But Kyle, do you really want the man in charge of your public persona to be the same one Alex Rodriguez uses? I'm not sure that's the best course of action.

Any day now, Farnsworth will be spotted sunbathing in Central Park, passing out at the birth of one of his children, wandering Toronto with an exotic dancer, and wondering if people dislike him because he's good-looking, biracial, and because he plays for the most popular team.
It should be fascinating to watch.
****************************************************
UPDATE:
For the record, this post was published a day before the same story appeared on Deadspin(which was weird, considering the article I referenced is two months old). Just sayin'.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOLZ

Timothy said...

Deadspin is hilarious. That is strange, though, you should write to them or send them a link. I'm sure your site could use the traffic a lot more than theirs. Good work.

Anonymous said...

I think the REAL Farnsworth returned in yesterdays game against the mets......toooo bad! good story tho.

Anonymous said...

I am so depressed. What is with this Yankee team? It's going to be a long, long season. It's all to sad....

Anonymous said...

Krazy Kyle is still the man

Anonymous said...

Good work.Looking forward to the poll results. By the way, whatever happened to Jimi Heinrichson? Is he German?

Anonymous said...

Ahahaha funny stuff

Anonymous said...

Farnsworth got a SAVE in houston!

Burned said...

deadspin used to be so funny and cutting edge. now it's just stupid. i'm' not surprised they shortchanged you

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Anonymous said...

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